Take heart, trooper. Ben Stokes's side could be heading into the next Ashes Test now 2-0 down, yet some remain within the England setup is deterred. Exists one collective tailor-made for such a situation, a unwavering unit who consider themselves the supreme experts in defeat. Is optimism crushed? Is the disappointment beneath the weight of unmet expectation? Well then, rally to the Barmy Army.
Already, their early arrivals are moving in on Adelaide, the city where they first came together 30 years ago. England's best-known – and by headcount noisiest – travelling fans will be anticipating an triumphant anniversary upset, similar to the one they witnessed on that 1994-95 tour. Furthermore whatever happens on the pitch, off it the parties will be extensive and boisterous.
"The cricket's been extremely disappointing," a veteran states, "yet we're the lucky ones, because we're on holiday. It's probably harder for the people at home."
Despite a spectacular team failure can't shake this band of seasoned campaigners. They've been watching England's innings meltdowns since before a new generation started playing. They've witnessed more fielding errors than key pacemen have Test wickets. Their personal stats as an Ashes supporters' club reads: played 37, lost 27, won 6. Those who knows how to weather a clean sweep, they are the original supporters.
Indeed, on television, the Barmy Army appear to be ubiquitous during this Ashes. TV directors at the grounds frequently appear keener to feature the Barmies than on their own fans. TV partners often use them as entertainment-focused buildup to a day's play. Remarkably the players on the field acknowledge them, as a fan dressed as a king conducting a singing of a patriotic song.
It's possible that the Barmy Army's mix of endurance and visibility has now masked quite how remarkable their dominance of travelling fandom has been. Three decades ago a few followers were brought together in comical humour about failure at England's dismal away record. In the present day their legacy is so intertwined with the England cricket that their boisterous, "unique" crowd is practically establishment itself. They've undoubtedly come a long way since the initial chants.
One veteran can picture the eager expectation of the first Test of that pioneering tour. With the hosts on top, he initiated a modest conga in the stands, winding up the locals with a song about convicts. "Local crowds jeered at us, then threw plastic cups – the kind of thing that we occasionally encounter today," he recalls. "Yet when we got back our little group of England followers had all joined in."
After a loss, England's tour faced further difficulties. Any supporter backing the team around the country was considered slightly mad. By the time the bigger venues their crowd had swelled significantly. Those on the field, however, genuinely enjoyed their support at the grounds. When England secured a consolation win, a senior player invited a fan leader up to the team balcony to direct the revelry. That bond has endured.
But then, the large crowds the Barmy Army can attract are as valuable to the cricket authorities as they are to overseas venues. On this tour alone, their travel packages will host a large number of supporters. A variety of activities are scheduled for the three-decade milestone.
This is, after all, an organisation born of love for the game and entrepreneurial spirit. The reason they date themselves to a Adelaide game is because that was when they started selling merchandise. The first small batch was so quickly sold out – and financially rewarding – that it sparked a lasting enterprise. Over the years, the co-founders have helped turn a pub-based supporters into an industry-leading sports tourism business.
That brings its own issues, especially at a time when sport is looking to shed some of its boisterous image. The Barmy Army's management are eager to highlight that a growing percentage of their travelling fans are now women. As times have changed, the vocals have had to get cleaner, too. "Comments that were common 30 years ago you must avoid now, and that's correct," says a spokesperson. "We can't tell someone how to behave within the confines of their seat, but we will not promote songs that are insulting."
Might the Barmy Army evolve quietly? The mean age of fans is now in middle age – mirroring the original members, who have been happy to distance themselves from the management. One founder is savouring this tour purely as a punter – leaving newer staff to populate the Barmy Army's social media. "We forget how difficult it used to be to communicate with each other," he smiles. "We used to do it all by meeting up – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
Turning to England's plight, the unlikely scenario of a series victory remains alive, which is very mid-90s indeed. And if England do lose in Adelaide … well, the next tour looks nice.
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